Let’s Talk Real Talk..

If you're a momma of littles, you will totally relate. If you haven't had children, you're about to learn(as mine are bouncing off the walls because, well... They're basically feral.) I'm kidding about feral.. but somehow it's in the gene pool and they both just happened to be the lucky ones that got all the wild.. not even a little wild, but like WILD WILD.. I'm paying for raising and then some.. It's fine. I'm fine(insert photo of me curled up in a closet with my stash of chocolate..) I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way though!

As a momma of two, I'm busy! From the outside looking in, it may look like I have it easy. Here's a couple of things that people have told me over the years:

"you have it so easy. I'd LOVE to be a stay at home mom all day and watch movies all of the time!"

"That's not really considered a job"

"You’re such a small girl. How do you handle cattle?"

"Women can’t handle cattle. They just get in the way.”

My favorite comment has been, “You should just call the vet to tell you what to do. He’ll know more.”

(I hold my tongue A LOT. I’ll let them think whatever they want BUT I know my worth and can out work most men and do it better. That’s what happens when you love proving people wrong!)

That's not even close to all of the things that's been said to me. I wont lie, sometimes those comments really get to me. Big time. People suck and that's all there is to it, You know the saying, "You can't judge a book by it's cover?" Well I've never really thought much of it until I had kids.. I'm a momma of two and now that quote hits HARD. People judge me literally all of the time. For starters I'm only 5'. My profession? Cattlewomen. I grew up on a farm, played softball, I was a cheerleader and an active member of our FFA all of the way up until I graduated High School. Once I graduated, I attended NOC is Stillwater. I wanted to become a large animal vet so bad. I was a college freshmen and honesty was just overwhelmed and I really didn't think that was path I was meant to follow. I finished the year and didn't look back. My calling wasn't there, but the friends that I made in that year each have a special place in my heart. (I'm getting to my point just hang on for a bit longer) after college I decided Id give hair a shot. I ended up attending a cosmetology/barbering school in OKC for 11 months. Once I graduated from there, I worked at a few salons but I still had that feeling that deep down I was still searching for my WHY. Although I LOVED my clients and the girls I worked with, I eventually called it quits. I truly believe that there's a reason for everything. I made lifelong friends, met amazing ladies and was told so many stories that I will literally cherish forever. But that path ended and a new one was about to start.

I was a mom of two littles, and had a husband who worked out of state A LOT and I had no idea what to do, so that then turned into a rain cloud that eventually followed me around daily. It was awful. I wanted my kids to be proud of their mom. I wanted them to be able to say that their momma was happy. But I think we can all agree that my happiness and fulfillment were just not there. Depression is real. If anybody tells you otherwise walk away. Depression and anxiety come in many forms. Mine for example showed itself by taking that spark and dulling my fire within. I felt heavy. Like I just wasn't doing what I was meant to do. But all of that was about to get a wake up call.

It wasn't until a little vacation and a long quiet road trip did my bell go off.. I'm talking like hours of silence. (If you know me then you know that's not normal) It was like a light switch that turned on every single light in my head and the word cattle was flashing like it belonged on Time Square. Immediately I was over flowing with excitement, joy, and contentment. God showed up. He put that little bug in my ear. It was like He was telling me to stop searching and look at what I already had right in front of me.. I had my entire path right in front of me my whole life but chose to keep ignore it. That feeling of certainty stopped me in my tracks.. I kind of pushed it to the back of my head for a little bit.. And then of course that little voice in my head that did nothing but cause anxiety and self doubt started talking. After a few more miles went by, that light bulb went off again, and again and again. It's like it was getting louder and louder until I acknowledged it. I immediately knew what my path was without a doubt. The path that God had for me all along. I still know that there's more to my meaning but the rest is still forming. For now though, I'm a momma to my two littles, where I have the opportunity to take them with me everywhere. I get to be the mom who breaks stereotypical rolls. A mom that is hard headed, is a fighter, and is 100% relentless.

Finally, what felt like a lifetime of me trying to run from what I thought was never going to happen, happened. My life was coming full circle. Within the hour I was enrolled in Grahams School for Cattlemen and had already called my dad to tell him to scoot over, I had a plan and I was coming in full force. I was about to step into a "mans world." A world that wasn't use to a little 5ft girl loading up 400-900 pound cattle, hauling bales, Carrying 50lb bags of feed, sticking an arm up the backend of a cow to preg check, Doctoring the sick calves and so much more. Since that single roadtrip, nothing has ever been the same and I could NOT be more excited. I'm able to take my kids with me everywhere and on everything. My kids have a mom that is breaking rolls and making moves. Most importantly, they have a momma that has found her WHY and isn't holding anything back.

Oh and about that mom guilt? Yeah. It's always close by.. but it keeps its distance for the most part. How? Well.. Let's just say that I throat kicked that sucker and then tossed it to the curb. Aint nobody got time for that!

Now it's your turn to change the game. I will chant my best cheerleading chant and will even through in a good high kick for ya! Just becaise it's unknown or not a role that many take on, it might be that very single thing that makes you, YOU.

YOU’VE GOT THIS

XOXO,

Little Miss Cowpoke